100 Bullshit Jobs …

100 Bullshit Jobs...And How to Get Them Stanley Bing has done it again with his latest treatise on corporate life with 100 Bullshit Jobs…And How to Get Them. The scholarly discipline of Bullshit Studies has blossomed in the last several years, fertilized by a number of critical works on the subject and the growing importance of the issue across a wide range of professions. Now, best-selling author and lifelong practitioner Stanley Bing enters the field with a comprehensive look at the many attractive jobs now available to those who are serious about their bullshit and prepared to dedicate their working life to it. What, Bing inquires, do a feng shui consultant, new media executive, wine steward, department store greeter, and Vice President of the United States have in common? What, too, are the actual duties performed by a McKinsey consultant? Other than sitting around making people nervous? Could that possibly be his core function? Likewise, what does an aromatherapist actually do, per se? Sniff things and rub them on people, for big fragrant bucks? Is that all? The answer in all cases is "Yes." They all have bullshit jobs. And you want one too! My favorite of the hundred, of course, is Consultant. Bing writes, "Duties: Chopper in. Get your orders. Receive validation from senior officer, one that allows you to push staff people around a little. Schedule meetings in which people are forced to talk about things they probably would rather not. "Capture" the "findings" in big pieces of paper you post on the walls during the meeting. "Drill Deep" into "process" with employees. Identify "challenges and opportunities" and "reach for new solutions." Go off. Have several glasses of malbec. Write "findings," telling your client a mixture of the things he needs to hear, the things he wants to hear, and the stuff you tell everybody. Go home. Feel good, having left the problems you solved and the problems you created behind you."